On The Brink of A Bright New Year

 

I choose to live by choice,

not by chance;

to make changes,

not excuses;

to be motivated,

not manipulated;

to be useful,

not used;

to excel,

not compete.

I choose self esteem,

not self pity;

I choose to listen to my inner voice;

not the random opinions of others.

~Unknown

Debate

To argue with a person

who has renounced the use of reason

is like administering medicine

to the dead.

~Thomas Paine

Family

Had a great time yesterday 

photographing

Evan and Amy

and the rest of their family.

:-)

The beauty of this time of year

among its many other gifts

is the opportunity to photograph

the love of several generations

in one family...

Be Good To Yourself

... you must be good to yourself if you are

ever going to be any good for others.

This means take a day off once in a while

when it's not scheduled.  Eat of piece of chocolate

when it's not recommended.  Take a nap

when it's just not possible.

Get your face into a good book for an hour

when you can't afford to. Soak in a tub

when there's no time to. Stop everything

when you're not supposed to. Do this now,

right now, for goodness sake.

~Neale Donald Walsh

You Are The Light of The World

... there is a light which cannot ever be extinguished.

It is inside of you.
It is you.

Let your light so shine upon the world
that the world will

know Who You Really Are
-- and its people will know

who they really are as well,
through the light of your example.

The darkness of our world awaits you
-- not to engulf you, but to be transformed by you.

During this Season of the Light,
be its Source
for all those who search for Joy.

~Neale Donald Walsh 

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas.
Remember on this beautiful day of love, 
that you are the light.

The Man Who Has Arrived

The man who has arrived 

will realize that he has done so 

in the midst of an outer confusion; 

he will be the one 

who has gone into the silence for strength 

and has come out into the world 

equipped with power from on high; 

but that light which he has received 

must be kept burning.

Not alone in the silence, 

but in the busy throng 

must all of us find the way of life. 

Our every thought creates. 

For the majority of us, 

these thoughts come in everyday affairs, 

some of which are very trivial, 

but these, too, will be demonstrated.

We have missed the whole point 

unless we have learned 

so to control our thought 

that time and place make no difference.

From Creative Mind by Ernest Holmes, Science of Mind Publishing.

Two Fisted Blogger

"This Is What A Lesbian Looks Like"

and this is what a lesbian blogs like:

Love and Light

(that's right, click on the link and read the new blog.

Go ahead. Do it. You know you want to...)

Waitaminit.

I thought this blog was what a lesbian blogs like...

 

but I blogged somewhere else too.

I'm a two fisted blogger.

Am I cheating on myself?

Check it out.

(See? 

Another link to the same blog, 

so that you are SURE to click through)

 

And comment on it

so I look fabulous and popular 

ferchrissakes.

 

That is all.

Ok, maybe not.

But this is:

Why?

 

Because it's funny, that's why.

 

Ok. That is all. 

 

Really.

 

Power

"...happiness never derives from power over others.

Thomas Jefferson made that observation and he was right.

Seek, therefore, power with, not power over.

This includes people in the world, people in your home,

and whoever else may be in your bed...

The best way to experience power (or anything)

is to give it away. Make someone else powerful and

you become twice as powerful as you were before.

Make someone else loved and you become twice as loved.

Make someone else feel good and you feel twice as good.

It doesn't get any better than this. And it's all so... simple."

~Neale Donald Walsh

Intimacy

Intimacy is inward bravery 

turned outward 

to include another person.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for

and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool

for love

for your dream

for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Warmth

BRRrrrRRrr.  It's cold.

But I have a nice pair,

so it's allllll good.

Big Gay Day

Yesterday was a big gay day!  

I am so proud of the international face 

Hillary Clinton put forth for our country 

at the Geneva Convention. 

In a thirty minute speech 

delivered for the whole world to hear - 

she made it boldly and beautifully clear 

that LGBT rights 

were human rights.


 

Oh alright, it's just a cell phone snap.  I'll take one with the hefty big pro camera later.  :-p

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,
on the way to a sweet little AGLIFF mixer at Frank,

I stopped at Book People,

to find myself on the stands 

(with Jane Lynch, OMG!)

in this month's Curve Magazine.  

Yours truly is 

"What A Lesbian Looks Like," 

this month.  

I couldn't be happier to be so publicized 

on a day that the worldwide LGBT community 

was so widely and powerfully spoken of by Ms. Clinton.

Even with all this,

the sweetest part of the day had to be seeing

Curve editor Merryn John's words in her editor's letter:

"Joni McClain, resident chaplain..."

My heart sings.

Betrayal

I get a lot of inspiring email from several life coaches whose work I admire, but yesterday, I got one that contained this statement:

"Every one of us must walk the path of forgiveness; we don’t get out of this life without that curriculum.

There’s not one person who doesn’t have the experience of betrayal. It doesn’t matter what form or face it brings; it’s the curriculum of becoming, the unveiling of the power and the authority that indwells every one of us."

I had to read it over and over and over and over so that it could soak in. What the hell does that mean "it's the curriculum of becoming, the unveiling of the power and authority that indwells every one of us"?  

And then I got to thinking, if everyone has had the experience of betrayal, then I've probably been blamed at one point or another in my life for betraying someone. Even though I do everything I think I can to remain within my own integrity about being honest and forthright and... oh...

ok, well, there was that woman I dated back in my twenties who stormed into the bar one night drunk as could be, banging on my deejay booth and making my music skip (because I'm so old we actually played vinyl then...)   I kept looking helplessly over at my boss hoping she'd kick the woman out but she was too amused to do anything about it.  Honestly.  I didn't betray this woman. I just decided it was best to not move in with her or date her.  Oh, alright.  Maybe she felt betrayed.

But I was thinking more along the lines of this:

A couple of years after that little incident I was living with someone - my very first live in someone when I found myself attracted to another woman.  No we didn't have a full blown affair, sorry, the story is not that titillating, but I did kiss her.  I kissed her.  I hauled off and kissed her and couldn't blame anyone else for my actions.  I really honestly only meant to give her a sisterly, chaste peck - or, ok, maybe I'd been contemplating like a teenaged boy on how to pull it off all night long, I don't remember which - but I do know it seemed as if there was no other option once the opportunity arose.  Just sayin'... 

Before I could contain myself it was as if the force of gravity had gathered up behind my original intention of that sisterly chaste peck, twisting it around so that my head tilted to the perfect angle and my lips landed right on hers.  Soft.  Open.  And with the fullest of erotic promise.  It felt wrong and electric and innocent all at once.  Her lips were a perfect fit.  All the energy in the room rushed in to center on us, all my senses expanded, the pounding noise surrounding us  became immediately apparent, and she tasted like air after a spring rain.

But it also felt terribly wrong.  

What the hell?

Obviously it stuck with me. I swore I'd never do it again.  It seemed so out of character, and wrong and I felt like I had betrayed my girlfriend.  Having already had the experience of betrayal myself, I didn't want anyone else to feel that way.

And I still don't.  

But as much as I have desperately tried to keep others from feeling that way - sometimes to the extent of denying myself my own happiness, I realize it can't be helped.  I can't control such things.

In order to experience forgiveness someone has to do something for us to forgive, right? And isn't perception so very different when it comes to the same event that might involve said forgiveness?  What if, all along, what seems to one person the right thing to do for their own happiness, is perceived as betrayal by another?  There's nothing to be done about that - except forgive.  

"Every one of us must walk the path of forgiveness; we don’t get out of this life without that curriculum.

 There’s not one person who doesn’t have the experience of betrayal. It doesn’t matter what form or face it brings; it’s the curriculum of becoming, the unveiling of the power and the authority that indwells every one of us."

Luckily, that woman who was banging on the booth so long ago - has also long ago forgiven me.  I think of her from time to time, as she became a sweet friend a few years later.  We've since lost touch with one another.

As for that girlfriend I betrayed?  She barely flinched when I told her - but, she'd been having her own affair of much greater proportion.  Seems I had some of my own forgiving to do...

"Today let us choose again in any area where we out of alignment. Let us choose to release ourselves from pain through the great power of forgiveness, and feel the fullness of our life."

And so it is...

Potpourri

There's so many ideas to write about swirling around in my head.

How about a post on Spirituality and Betrayal?

Sex and Spirituality?  (Hell yeah!)

How about the sneak peek at the December issue of Curve Magazine???

Ok ... so, I am trying to be cool about my fifteen minutes of Curve fame but now I can't help it.  Why?  It's the issue with Jane Lynch on the cover!  I wanna be Jane when I grow up.  We're now like... two degrees of Kevin Bacon apart. 

Here's my fantasy story about me and Jane: 

Jane gets her issue of Curve.  She thumbs through, stops on the delicious photograph and article about me. She finds herself interested, pulls up my website, and emails me about doing some photography.  That's where it all ends, though.  (I said I wanted to BE her when I grow up, not DO her when I grow up. But if she has a friend that I find hot,  I might ask to be introduced.) Eventually Jane and I become fast friends, because she's so damned talented and hysterical and fun, and she thinks I am too.  She becomes erroneously associated with me in the press, yet nothing is going on.  End of story.

Jane Lynch ... Jane Lynch didn't get a Lady song in this week's episode of Glee.  Personally I was hoping for more than teenage cheerleader antics during the "Kissed A Girl" number, but it is high school, after all.

I digress.

Stay tuned for Spirituality and Betrayal, and... yep... Sex and Spirituality...  

p.s.  and then there's this HOT I Love Career Girl Calendar in this month's issue of Curve.  Holy Moly!  Now why didn't I think of that? There's more here.